The surprise really came—wrong word, perhaps—with the almond milk. At the first preview performance of the play Intimacy last Tuesday, it shot forth from actor Austen Cauldwell’s tumescent penis, or what looked like his tumescent penis, landing on some unfortunate audience member, or diligent theatrical prompt, right at the front. A tube of lubricant also flew into the stalls as a duvet was swiftly scooped up.
The play was so sodden with sex and nudity, and talk about sex and desire and pornography, the audience left dazed. Was it really just almond milk, I wanted to know afterwards? When was a penis prosthetic used as opposed to the real thing? Cocks and crevices kept appearing on TV screens. Whose were they? The playwright Thomas Bradshaw and Scott Elliott, Intimacy’s director, said these were “stage secrets” they wanted to keep, though Elliott revealed there “might” be sugar in the ejaculatory mix,